Sorry, I missed this part:

Holding means the same as cuddling, right? As opposed to a hug which is quicker? The only people I have ever literally 'held' are my parents and lovers, in that case, I only hug friends? I don't hanker after hugs with my therapist, and though I love her I certainly don't want to cozy up for a cuddle.

Maybe that's why the metaphoric version makes me feel a bit...ick? Does feeling metaphorically held only feel right if you have a maternal transference?

I suppose the physical act of holding did inspire the use of the term in psychology, but in practice, the two aren't necessarily connected. But I can see where any connotations, good or bad, that you'd have with the word in common usage would carry over--just don't assume your T shares the same connotations. I don't think it's dependent on any particular type of transference, though the concept did expand from work Winnicott did with mothers and children.

I remember being very upset and overwhelmed by feeling that whoever I thought I was in the past seemed not to be true anymore (because I was flooded with new memories and feelings), and the sensation was one of being in bits and pieces scattered over the floor and not feeling I had any center or wholeness. In tears, I asked my T to hold me; it was as though I couldn't physically feel any shape to myself. I imagine it is the sort of terror that a baby or very young child feels. My T wouldn't physically hold me, but very gently explained how there were other non-physical ways he could hold me, and that over time, I would be able to carry that sense within me. He understood what I couldn't about my feeling at the time: that it was about identity and integration psychologically. And while physical holding may have calmed my fear, it wouldn't have addressed the psychological state I was experiencing. So the two senses of holding can be related, but work in very different ways and to different ends.