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Hi everyone,
I am really trying to understand disassociation but am struggling to. I have read up on it, but don't know if it is something I truly do or not. I think we all have moments of it-like when you've been driving and forgot part of your journey...but what makes it "not normal" and a symptom of BPD?
I am also wondering if this type of scenario would be considered disassociation:
A few months after a big fight with my boyfriend I had been crying and experience a lot of emotions. I ended up cutting myself I guess to self sooth or whatever and then I seemed to "calm down" and went into a trance- like completely zoned-out state like I was on a super strong sedative. I ended up ripping up little pieces of paper over and over again and staring off blankly while sitting against a wall in my dining room. I don't feel like I was in psychosis or anything (which I don't think disassociation is). I am sure if the building caught on fire I would have known to get up and get out and "snap out of it". I have found that this has happened many times when I have been upset. I thought it was just that I had gotten so emotionally upset that I just got tired and my brain and body did this to calm myself down or something. I never had had where time passed by and I didn’t realize it during one of these “episodes”.
I have also found that sometimes I feel like things are “not real” but that is more of a fleeting thought. Again, I feel that if I truly was thinking things weren’t real, that would be psychosis. I sometimes look at my boyfriend and the thought goes through my head that “this isn’t real, he’s not real…this isn’t happening” but it’s a brief thing. Just a strange passing thought.
So I don’t know. I find it a concept that is very confusing. Can anyone explain it to me?
Thanks
Misfit
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