I had the same issue last week. I treated my three year old son in such a way that I felt physically ill. I've been treating my husband horribly for weeks and I feel guilty every time but my son....I really wanted to run away. I didn't think i deserved to be his mother and he certainly would do better with someone else. I mulled on it all day. I beat myself up so bad mentally because I couldn't figure out a proper punishment, or at leat didn't have the courage to carry it out.

At this poit I still think what I did was unforgivable BUT I can at least move on with my life. It gave me motivation to seek treatment again, something I've been resisting for awhile. Try to find a positive. Renew your vow to get well. And try to forgive yourself, just a little bit.