Missfit, Im so glad you put this post up, cause I wasn't really sure what it entailed that was actually part of BPD, this thread has helped.

what you described in your initial post was what happens to me, usually after an 'episode' of "losing it", I calm down and stare, I mutter to myself and play with something small in my hands. I might sing a song softly, I don't know, I also see others around me as in another universe completely. When I stare at them its like I'm hallucinating.

Its happened many times. Sometimes I fall on the bathroom floor and lie there for ages.. it feels nice there.

I dissociated the other day, I was in the grocery store and my teenage son was giving me a bit of stick over when we are going to buy his computer. I had just moved interstate and was about to drop $500 on his return to school so the financial stress was taking its toll and here I was yet again at the grocery store about to spend more money on overpriced goods, anyway..to top it off there was a baby screaming its lungs out nearby...

I stopped, turned to my son and said, very calmly," you had better walk away now or I don't know what I will do". He did walk away and I froze, tranced, I dropped my basket on the floor and stood. staring. I didn't care, I just knew if I didn't stop and zone out, anything could of happened. I kept thinking, this is it, I am going to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of the store... but I froze. waited and then slowly took steps forward..

Again, thank you for sharing your experiences, it sure helps me feel like I am not alone..