Something else he said to my feeling that I didn't belong anywhere--that I didn't have a place in my life anymore because I felt no boundaries of self ( that gloopy mess)--was that it wouldn't last forever, nor destroy whoever I was meant to be. That I was a self in transition, it was predictable, and that he would contain all the parts of me and hold them as we allowed them to come together again. He wouldn't lose me. It was the containment part of holding, a borrowing of ego strength. It was also the darkest days, but the terror does lessen.