Thank you so much of the insight. I think all I needed was an outside perspective, an opinion that's out of my own mind set as all I can see when I try and thing about it all is a huge jumbled mess.

It's not the best situation to be in whatsoever, it's not fair on anyone. I ended up spending the full night and half the day with me lover boy (as you are calling him!) at the weekend rather than having to go home early and it just made me want it more. I'm finally getting that emotional connection that I've needed for myself for the first time in about two years, and even though I feel awful for saying this - it's worth it. It's like a constant battle between my own personal needs and everyone else's needs around me. If I ha the option to cohabitate until I found somewhere of my own id be happy, but the boy gave me an ultimatum and made it perfectly clear to me that if I'd broken up with him I'm out - and he's keeping the house. I want to be fair on everyone and be true to myself at the same time, but it's going to cause hurt If I do, and I don't want to trigger my bipolar off again, I had a bad one last year and can't afford to be ill again. Thank you for replying an letting me rant, it really means a lot xxx

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