I am not having a good day. I am in fact very sad. Shocker!! I know right!!

Ok, so I get everything happens for a reason, but the way I'm feeling right now,
It's seeming like the world is against me. What's worse is that I am missing X like crazy. I know it sounds nuts, but I feel like he is all around me. The way I did when one of my friends died a few years back.
Anyways, what does it matter? They're gone. I am feeling all alone. I spend so much of my time being there for everyone else, now when I need some support, nothing.
I very rarely get down, or at least not for too long, but honestly knowing that it's really completely and utterly over this time, makes me feel completely alone in the world. I hate that I miss them. I hate that I can't contact them and start the rolllercoaster ride again. I hate that in all the time I tried to be there for them, when I need them, they aren't here.
I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out - and let's face it, who else can I rant at?
If I called one of my mates, reality is, within two minutes I would be playin councillor to them.

Thankyou for reading