I'm actually having a hard time reading, so when I dedicate myself to reading your replies I'm going to take notes. Hopefully I don't lose the notes in my disorganized room :/
Maybe I can make a "survival" section in my binder and put them there.

I'm debating on going inpatient or not, because I'm not sure if it would greatly hinder my progress I make in the hospital to come back to this environment. Also I'm terrified of being medicated. I had a terrible experience the first time I went to a childrens psych ward where I could have died from over medication and side effects. Is it possible to go inpatient but not be medicated at all?
It's extremely difficult to deal with this abusive household while trying and failing to deal with schizoaffective and ptsd. At this very moment I'm afraid of leaving the house, and my room even because I had an almost altercation with my sister yesterday and haven't wanted to see her since.

Anyone else ever feel like they want to give up and just stay put? I get it so much, I'm very ambivalent about leaving and I'm still very stuck.
Yesterday I called to make an appointment with the person who did my IQ and psych testing, which was a small victory, but they had me on hold and forgot about me after 30 mins so I hung up.