Hey guys
this is my first post I am so depressed in life
let me tell you a little about myself i have always battled with my body always thought that i am fat which to be honest i know I'm not but for some reason never feel good about myself which causes all my relationship to end so what happens for instance when i was in high school i would have my bff which i was super close to meaning i would be with her 24-7! and eventually with time getting closer to her and really close where she knew everything about me i would start getting jealous of her thinking that oh maybe she's prettier than me and if i would see anyone looking at her for instance hot guy my thought would come true ! and i would always want to stay away from her so eventually this would become a pattern where jealousy would take over and i would stop talking to her. Anywayz now I am engaged and i am only 22 years old ! don't worry i wasn't forced it was my own personal decision anyways i feel so depressed because after me and by got close i am so jealous of him honestly i feel as if any girl that looks at him makes me so FURIOUS and MAD like all these weirds thought develop as in why was she looking at him
maybe its because I'm not pretty and they probably think that ! which is funny because i don't understand why i get so jealous if any other girl looks at him i recognize my problem i JUST DONT KNOW how to fix it!!!!?
PLEASE does anyone know what can i do????
I'm only 22 plus I'm constantly thinking that oh if he finds a skinner girl he will leave me ! i am always in a fear going out with him because if any other girl looks at him i have a problem !!! which is sO STUPID OF ME !!
also the part that i don't get is why is it that only with people that i get close too i develop these feelings
sometimes i want to leave this guy because thats all i have done in my past left people because of my stupid feelings building up ! and i would be in peace at last ! but now that i am engaged at times i wonder !!? what do i do?

am i going crazy!!!?