My t is very sweet to me. Past husbands and family, not so much. I look at it as, he's raising the bar for the next one. This is how we should be treated. It changes our expectations, changes who we are. Thats what we're in therapy for. I didnt understand it either. I thought if someone was nice to me, that meant he should marry me. Which is pretty harsh, when you think of it. Pretty lonely. I didnt UNDERSTAND connecting with people.