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I suppose I was fortunate (bewildering though I found it as I had self esteem issues) in being attractive in my outward behaviour while at Uni and as such I had a ‘few’ interesting liasons.
That being said, I was honest when I knew I was deeply interested in developing a relationship past a trist.
It worried me to do it as, in the UK (not sure about the rest of the world) there is the stigma of blokes with ‘baggage/damage’ but I knew full well that due to struggles with long term depression, it would impact on any relationship I had… on top of that I was still recovering (if that’s the right word) from two attempts.
As such, to determine if the other was a keeper it was best to lay things down early on and as someone said above ‘let the chips fall where they may’. Saying that, I would do it in a very factual detached manner, in part to prepare myself for any fallout that I would need to find resolve to protect myself against.
My wife took it well (abliet admitting it was a lot of info and startling) and we’re still going strong 15years later.
So yes, I’d say be honest… but treat it as an account of what is rather than laying your heart on the table.
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Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK
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