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Originally Posted by adampeps
Hi all,
I am a very quiet person in my early 30's who has a dependable job, a wife and an almost 1-year old baby. I love being a father and feel like I am a good husband. I've been struggling quite a bit lately knowing that the only acquaintances I have are my family. Outside of a few neighbors that we have, I don't really socialize with anyone else. If you look up my post history, you'll notice I do suffer from depression/anxiety as well.
I mentioned earlier that I have a dependable job. While this is true it is in consulting. I recently have felt terrible as the company I was working with could no longer retain me. I was with them since I started with the consulting company (2 1/4 years). Although I didn't enjoy all of the work, I liked the people and felt my life and having these work acquaintances was enough for me. Now that I have lost that, I feel sort of at a loss.
I know I will be put on a new project but this one seemed to be the best fit for my personality which has always been a struggle. I came out of my shell a bit and became a key player.
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In many ways, I feel I understand what you're saying. when it comes to social life, and interacting with others more I tend to need some reason to be put in a place where I have to interact, such as a job. You're probably just an introvert like me and don't feel bad for it. find interests and groups that would encourage this interaction if not in another job. If it's something other than just forcing yourself to find friends, like hanging out with other people with the same interests, maybe that will get you out of your shell more. Just a suggestion
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I have talked with a few people in my family and they say the following: - You'll meet lots of new friends as your daughter gets older
- They don't have many friends themselves as they've gotten older
- Be happy to have a wife and daughter
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1. as your daughter gets older that is no guarantee that you'll meet other people and waiting for that to happen isn't a good suggestion. If you're feeling you want the social interaction find a way to do it yourself.
2. Age has nothing to do with whether people have friends or not. it's a matter of choice if you remain social and have many friends and being old or young has nothing to do with it at all.
3. This last one is a horrible statement. "be happy... blah blah blah" assumes you're saying you're not happy with those things and that you dont' appreciate what you have. Ignore it and move on. It's very judgemental. Besides having a wife and child never ever will replace the need for social interaction entirely.
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I guess for people who are in their 30s, I am just wondering if it is normal that I don't really have a social life. That I should be happy with just the time with my wife and child? Making new friends is an incredibly hard thing for me to do.
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Again don't worry about your being 30 or any other age. That you want a social life and don't have one is the issue. whether others have one at your age or not is not even a reason to be social yourself. Who cares? It's not a contest, it's all about your contentment and happiness. if you can be happy as a dad, and husband and never being social it makes you no less of a person than another 30 something with a wife and child(ren). Do it for you, if you do. Try the suggestion I made above, it may just be key for you.