Live in the moment. You are lucky to have someone that wants to marry you, be proud of that. I, on the other hand, have pushed everyone away...I am 45 never been in love and never been married. I know it's a trust issue for me, I look back and wonder what could have been. You aren't going crazy...you are 22, you have only just begun. Enjoy life, whatever your outcome is, you WILL survive.