And I totally disagree. And if disagreeing with her makes her want to call me names like that, then so be it. Because that is rude. And I am told I need to stand up for myself. So I am.

All I did was tell her that I need people to tell me I'm right when I am right so I get validation and not question myself too much. Because I have extremely low self esteem and take everything really personally and critically. I am NOT self-righteous. I don't believe I'm always right. I believe I'm always WRONG. I try to stand up for myself more than I used to and it seems like nothing good ever comes from it, so why even bother anymore? I'm just going to be seen as a trouble maker.

How come I'm the one who's seen as the one who isn't handling the situation right? Why not say they were wrong to treat me that way? How come it's always my fault? Because I reacted to them? What do you expect? I am reacting to people treating me mean and unfair, and yet no one cares about what they do to me to upset me. They just care about my reaction. Why aren't they in trouble?

Too many times I have been reactive to something someone did to me, and yet no one cared about what was done to me. All they saw was me behaving "inappropriately."

For instance, my sister used to make me mad all the time and taunt me, to get me in trouble. She would push my buttons to get a reaction and I would get mad and yell at her or flick her or hit her (not really hard, we were really little). Yet every time, I got in trouble, and she NEVER got in trouble for how she taunted me or upset me. I would get punished for my reaction, and she got away with everything.

My friends took my food one time (a dessert, maybe they thought I shouldn't have it? It's a long story, and I don't even understand to this day.) It was the dessert food I used to eat with my best friend who wasn't going to the college anymore, and I missed her. It was the only time I ever made that dessert without her, up to that point. So it was really meaningful to me. Yet when my "friends" took it away from me, I thought they were joking, and I went "HEY! give that back!" and when they wouldn't I got really angry, knowing it wasn't a joke anymore. I gave a negative look to a friend. She then preceded to tell me that I was making THEM uncomfortable! What about how they made ME feel!?

When I was at the same college, someone started a rumor that I was a lesbian. Which I wouldn't have cared about, if it weren't for the college's policy to remain heterosexual. (It was christian). I was threatened to be kicked out of the college for this rumor. When in fact it was not true. And I was told to not hang out with my best friend anymore. See, I was punished, and yet they didn't care to punish the person who was SPREADING RUMORS! I did nothing wrong in that situation.

Yet if I bring all this up to my T, then she will be like "see there she goes, wanting to be right about everything" bla bla bla. What do I do!