Fat is somewhat of a subjective characteristic just as some people like blondes and some dark hair. Many people care much more about other traits. Look into cognitive distortions... things we tell ourselves that don't match reality. You are using a lot of generalizations and absolutes. "Guys" think I'm fat... I "always" hurt myself... I'd bulk up... The reality is, as I stated above, different strokes for different folks. Even if 90 of 100 guys aren't interested in you for whatever reason, you have to concentrate on finding the 10 that are. There are ways of exercising that have very low risk of injury, as well as those that don't build muscle.