My life has always been shity even before im born to this world, when my mum passed away, i found her diary and i read it.. found out that my dad never want me to born and try to kill me (never knew why im born and wish im dead at that time)

Grew up with my parents oftenly fighting in front of me (dad throwing stuff like chair, etc to my mum)

Dad leave me alone on the street when my mum passed away (i sleep at the street with no money at all, i was 16 or 17 still a student), thats the first time im thinking about killing my self.

After that my life is literally being upside down.. get up and get crush so bad so oftenly, until i met this girl.. and she really makes me happy and have high hope of a bright future together with her.. she become my fiancee.

Until few months ago i lose my job and few days ago she leave me and making impression that it was my fault, and i was so heart broken, depress and in pain..

But thats not enough !! Because today i just found out that actually she was cheating on me for the second time! (the first time was last year and i forgive her while she promise me that she wont dont that anymore) and this time she cheating on me with 2 guys!!

I approach one of them to ask him nicely if he knews about me and ask him if he really care about her.. i would love to him to take care of her.. because even tho she hurt me so bad, i still love and care about her, he told me he didnt know and feel sorry also will back off but later on my ex was being mad at me.. turns out he talks bad about me and now she delete and blocked me from everywhere like facebook, skype and everywhere else.

I really dont know if i ever can even get up again.. cause this is just making me so freaking tired with this life.. i really regret the day i was being born when i shouldnt and thinking about ending my life just so i dont need to faced this shity life anymore.