I think I had my first major depression at SIX! I cried every day for months. Of course I didn't know what it was then. I remember thinking about killing myself at eight, also. I've always struggled with anxiety and depression especially hormone-related, I've always had crazy mood swings and rage around my period (hence the PMDD dx). I never told anyone about my childhood depression, not even my parents. So I knew something was wrong with me at a very young age, I just wasn't sure what, and was too embarrassed to ask anyone.

I only got a tentative bpII dx a few months ago (I'm in my mid-thirties now). I went into a major depression after my son was born (not postpartum depression, I think more than anything after a few months of sleep deprivation I started just slowly sliding downhill) and it wasn't until he was two that I wondered why I was still so exhausted and uninterested in everything. I think my dx was hard for my doc because I never had the happy fun mania...more hypomania and/or inexplicable rage without a cause. Ironically it was an SSRI sending me into a suicidal raging tailspin that tipped my doctor off and she's been treating me for the PMDD for four years now.

I'm not sure if the pregnancy made me bipolar (and I was only depressed before?) or if the stress associated with a new baby just made the bipolar symptoms so bad I couldn't ignore them or brush them off anymore...