Do you ever feel like you're in an alternate universe? Sometimes, it's like I'm in an altered mental state and there is heaviness and darkness and panic. Then I'll go to bed and in the morning I'll wake up and wonder what all that was about. It's like it didn't happen. It doesn't happen as intensly or as often as it used to, but I still feel like I go through these cycles - I'll get depressed and cry and then I'll be fine and then it will sneek up on me again. I alternate crying and feeling ok just as quickly as starting a letter ok and crying at the end or vice versa. Then I get to the part where I think I'm making it up or just trying to get attention and I totally discount it and dis-affirm (what's the right word?) myself.