I dont really know where to start.

I've been a different person for 2 years due to a somewhat traumatic break up. It was hard but I got through it but last year there was a death within my family that shook me up completely and its like it must have pressed a load of buttons or something and made all my feelings like bolder and more frequent and so so much more worse and they wont go away!! I dont know whats happening it's like one minute i feel okay like i think things are going to be fine, but suddenly theres just this massive turn and I just feel like theres no point in anything and i feel like everyone hates me and no one cares about me. My 'future' just feels as if its going to be painful and Im actually dreading summer I feel so lost in summer and so unwanted?! Everything just seems boring and my self harm is getting worse and i find it hard and too much effort to talk to people its just like im trapped in a world that i don't want to be in?? i thought this was normal until I talked to my school councillor the other day?! What is happening?!?!?