I think self righteous indignation is more a behavior, not a personal trait. So to me it isn't name-calling. It sounds more like an observation.

What I think you're missing in the specific stories that you told was the part where you acknowledge your own negative behavior-- whether it was the "look" you gave your friends or that you behaved in an unkind way to your sister. I think not being self righteous in those situations is to say, "I shouldn't have done ___. I realize my buttons were pushed, but I always have to choice to respond in a better way. Next time, I will acknowledge that my buttons are being pushed, but I will chose not to react negatively."

T's are fond of saying, you can't control other people but you can control your reactions. You seem to be justifying your reactions based on what other people did first. You're indignant that people can treat you this way-- and you're right, you shouldn't be treated this way. But I think you're T is trying to get you to focus on what you can change, which is how you react. That's the self righteous part.