Some here pointed out that a 14-year old cannot legally consent to a sexual act and therefore it was abuse. You seem to see that as a sort of "cop out" and want to know if it would be abuse or assault if you were older.

My own thinking is that it doesn't matter what it would have been if you were older, because you weren't older. You were 14: a terrified 14-year-old girl. It is not "consent" when sexual actions are taken by terrified 14-year-olds.

Debating this and bearing the weight of it on your shoulders is occupying a huge part of your life. Does your T know how much this is dominating your life?