I need help not with telling myself that he will not do it again but with trusting myself and not feeling afraid of what I cannot control. I need help trusting myself to be ok no matter what.

I feel like I am losing it and just need a little help. I am obsessing over it.
He was unfaithful emotionally about a year ago following a rough patch. We've tried recovery through accountability, transparency and therapy but as we are long distance and I have abandonment issues related to my parents I am truly paranoid of him relapsing and it is ruining my sleep, moods and more.