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Old Mar 04, 2014, 11:05 PM
popsie popsie is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by adampeps View Post
Hi all,

I am a very quiet person in my early 30's who has a dependable job, a wife and an almost 1-year old baby. I love being a father and feel like I am a good husband. I've been struggling quite a bit lately knowing that the only acquaintances I have are my family. Outside of a few neighbors that we have, I don't really socialize with anyone else. If you look up my post history, you'll notice I do suffer from depression/anxiety as well.

I mentioned earlier that I have a dependable job. While this is true it is in consulting. I recently have felt terrible as the company I was working with could no longer retain me. I was with them since I started with the consulting company (2 1/4 years). Although I didn't enjoy all of the work, I liked the people and felt my life and having these work acquaintances was enough for me. Now that I have lost that, I feel sort of at a loss.

I know I will be put on a new project but this one seemed to be the best fit for my personality which has always been a struggle. I came out of my shell a bit and became a key player.

I have talked with a few people in my family and they say the following:
  • You'll meet lots of new friends as your daughter gets older
  • They don't have many friends themselves as they've gotten older
  • Be happy to have a wife and daughter

I guess for people who are in their 30s, I am just wondering if it is normal that I don't really have a social life. That I should be happy with just the time with my wife and child? Making new friends is an incredibly hard thing for me to do.

Thank you for listening.

Adam
good for you for putting yourself out there with this. I wish I had addressed this issue earlier than the age I'm at now (49) I think that friendships are important at every age for everyone. forget about what is "normal". spouses may come and go. (sorry, I'm a bit jaded)
someone I once knew had a t-shirt that had on it "friends are the family we choose". I don't think he intended it to be insulting to his family lol. I myself did not take the time to cultivate and maintain friendships for most of my life, and I wish that I did, I learned this late in life. so I lack some life experiences and therefore life enjoyment perhaps compared to others, didn't have an ear or shoulder when I needed one and perhaps am a bit of a loner and can be awkward socially, at times. I agree it is hard to do, but it is worthwhile. It is something I need to do as well, better late than never.
Hugs from:
adampeps
Thanks for this!
adampeps