~S4, yes, I almost think he felt "entitled" to abuse me, because in his eyes I was of no value, because I had depression and bipolar, I wasn't able to hold down a job. He used that against me, to keep me down in the depths of depression. It makes me sick too. I've tried having a relationship since then. I have a very hard time keeping the details away from the ex. I don't know why I still try to feel like I'm worth something to the man I spent twenty years with now (not all of them legally married). I question myself constantly. Of course this new relationship didn't work. I was still in the mind set (all those horrible disgusting names he called me, kept creeping in), and I couldn't even feel like I was worth this new man getting to know me.
Sorry, your point being that the man can treat the woman badly because they provide. I agree.(he didn't provide well by and means). It made him feel good about himself, and to put me down for being "crazy", all the more power to him. I don't want to talk to him anymore, but I'm easily manipulated into giving out myself to him, giving him clues, because I want him to have a conscience. I want him to realize how he changed me. He never will, and his sick mind enjoys hearing me, just the tone of my voice when I'm having a bad day, and he asks how our son is, he then says "are you okay, what's going on", I have to stop letting him get that part of me. I need to pretend, if I have to, that everything is okay. It will be. Was good to come back and read this thread. I'm a slow learner for some things in life. Thanks S~4

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