Quote:
Originally Posted by krisakira
I gave a negative look to my friend, and I actually left the cafeteria after she told me I was making everyone uncomfortable. I understand my reactions can be unhealthy, but to make it ALL about my reaction and not other people's behavior is what is bothering me. It's very invalidating. My husband, on the other hand, understands my reactions and why I get upset at things. He questions what's wrong, and why I feel the way I do. He validates me. My parents never asked WHY I lashed out at my sister. Of course I was young so how are you supposed to not react when you are young, and have never been taught to do anything differently... But I am just tired of people saying I have to change ME and that others don't have to change. Sounds really one-sided and unfair to me. Of course I am tired of it, because I was the scape goat of the family. If anything happened, it was all my fault. I am tired of it being this way, and want others to be held accountable for what they have done to me.
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I hear you. It's not fair. At all. And they likely never will be held accountable, and there's nothing you can do about it most of the time.
It may sound very very trite (if not outright infuriating) but that's life.
People are insensitive jerks most of the time, but they have their own hurts and blunder through life too. It's okay.
Your therapy might be about getting to the place where it's okay that people are who they are.
It hurts and is utterly exhausting to live your life filled with indignation and anger. I know, I've been there. The key is to find a place of acceptance, and not resignation. Acceptance.
On the other hand, we get to howl at the moon so to speak. This is a great place to do just that.