Whoa calm now. I used to smoke a lot of herb to calm myself. I went through a qrt I a day, and that was just for getting hw done, labs, papers, and projects. Now I can't smoke it I get really paranoid and dissociate hard core.
Have u ever looked at trying legal herbs?
Passion flower calms me down quite a bit with my anxiety. So does valerian. I think there is a forum for alternative meds here somewhere. Don't let urself put all that pressure on u. Cancer is a genetic mutation no one caused it it just happens. All u gotta do is put ur family out of ur mind.

Now I know that's hard, I had to do it to. I come from a very abusive family and used to get my *** beat everyday all because dad was drunk and pissed or had a bad day or something bad happened so it got taken out on me. I went to school as early as possible everyday and stayed as long as I could.