Did I get this right? Your therapist told you that you should tell her, your T, that you missed her while she was gone?

Even though it's really upsetting and anxiety-inducing, it sounds like a good topic for you and a good area of your life to be working through. From the amount that you've gotten upset, and you have said that you feel vulnerable, wouldn't it be worth exploring why it is so difficult for you to tell someone that you've missed them?

I know that in my own past, I tell my friends that I don't get to see that I miss them. And each time that it's just been ignored, dismissed, or simply not returned... it hurts. It tells me that I don't matter and my feelings are irrelevant... that I'm not a good enough person to miss, or that I'm replaceable, etc. I don't like to open myself up to that level of vulnerability because I view it as something that will just cause me pain and feelings of rejection. Is it anything like that for you?