As an add on and further reflection... there is also the issue that I'm very conscious of the impact my depression has on others.

Back in December/November... things were really bad and I think that was reflected in my posts here. My wife was really good during that time, but once the hardcore side of that dip abated, I was very aware of how draining it must have been on her...

I've as such been struggling/battling any warning signs to a dip as I really don't want to put her through that again.

Perhaps I'm rambling, I don't know... I'm a big thinker and I try to rationalise everything.. so yeah.