I've been dating a man with schizoaffective bipolar type for a couple of months. He was honest about his diagnosis from the beginning and it's always been something we've discussed openly. We communicate our needs very well and support each other.

About a month after we started dating he became depressed (shortly after a bad manic episode before we met). This obviously has been hard on such a new relationship but we've managed best we can. He isn't on any medication (it makes his psychosis worse, it dulls him, and he doesn't want TD), so the depression has continued for quite some time and seems to be getting worse. He sleeps all day and so I have a small window where I can talk with him (he tends to wake up a few hours before I need to go to sleep). When we're together he tends to sleep the majority of the time but he encourages me to wake him so we can spend time together. Even when we're together he doesn't seem like himself.

I'm struggling with feeling like he's inaccessible for such large portions of the day. When I'm upset or anxious I know I can't have his support because he's still sleeping, and I sometimes feel like I don't want to burden him with my own concerns because I need to be strong and stable for us. I've talked about medication with him but he's adamantly against it because of a couple bad experiences. I know it's not my business and not up to me, but I just feel like there must be some combination of meds that might help.

I have my own experiences with mental illness (OCD, anxiety, BPII), so I'm incredibly understanding and don't hold any of this against him. I care about him deeply and I want to see him happy and thriving.

I guess I just need support. I desperately wish I knew the partner of someone with schizoaffective so we could talk about these things. I could even use some words of encouragement or advice from those with schizoaffective. I always feel like there's more I could be doing to support him and make him happy.

Thanks