Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohag
Indulgence? I'm not sure I've ever given the idea much thought. "Indulgence" implies choice and control; my experience of depression has lacked both.
In my case, from the beginning I've had no ability to curtain off depression from any other area of my life.
On the other hand, "dogged determination" and resulting achievements have at times been possible, but that ability diminished over time and then all but evaporated.
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Could be I'm kidding myself... don't know.
The T I'm seeing does bang on about things getting better... and in some ways I really don't want to disappoint her or those I care about by falling down that hole again
Perhaps this is just a notion of self consciousness.
Gah... I do want to soldier through and grit my teeth and perhaps that's where the resolve comes from.
Some days are harder than others admittedly though.
In addition to that, it's easy (for me) to forget how bad things can really get... since on reflection those times seem dream like.
But going back to that time, there was as you said very little choice about it... so could be I'm just having one of those days of verbal diareeh
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Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK