Yes, there is the boundary thing. I just got talking with my gp about that the other day.
I've also made the mistake of bringing things up with my mother about things that had hurt me, things she had done. I can't make her forgive herself, or accept what she's done. All I can do is tell her, that I see things that happened from my perspective, and she sees things from hers. I don't know if its because of this that's bothering you, or what you shared with your mother. Forgiveness, on her part and yours will be the key. You can't change now what happened or what was shared. Just keep moving on with forgiveness. For yourself. No one can make someone else be forgiving. Take care of you.