I'm new on this site as well. I too lost my mom when I was young. I too recently lost my job and my husband of 3 years told me he didn't want me and he married me for the green card. I too sometimes want to end this pain. I'm not telling you this to feel sorry for me. But to tell you you are not alone. I have my moments of weakness but we can't give up.there is a reason why those bad people that hurt USO bad they are no longer with us. It was God's way to let us know we deserve better. Take it from me. I'm still in total denial. I still call my ex and beg him to be with me. I still can't sleep but is all so fresh. I'm taking my life one hour at a time. See what I'm doing my next hour. I worked out yesterday felt a little better. Had a job interview this morning. It was tuff 5 people all asking me questions at the same time and none of them knew that I had been sleeping on the streets sometimes or crying depress with thoughts off ending my life for the past month. So you see. We are stronger than we think. Get help if you can. Focus on getting a new job. Cry if you need to but don't let nobody dismiss you. Prove them wrong and get your life back. We are here for something great. I'm saying this to you and to myself. Because is hard but we can't give up.