Hi there to all. I am a 50 year old woman who has been dealing with depression issues for over 20 years. In the last year, however, it has gotten markedly worse. I now have anxiety and panic attacks, along with the depression. Finding a counselor or therapist has been very difficult, I finally found a psychiatrist that I trusted and she left the practice last month. I am now in search of another psychiatrist or therapist, but finding one that takes my insurance and that I feel comfortable with has been a real challenge.

My mood is either sad or I feel nothing at all. Recently my meds have been changed, and I am not sure if they are helping the depression but they have helped the anxiety and panic attacks, so that is a plus. I used to be very outgoing and pretty happy all the time. My poor husband doesn't know what to do with me now though, as I am a lump who doesn't care about anything.

I had major surgery (a total hip replacement) last August, and since then I have had no interest in my passion which is horseback riding. I have no desire to even go out an pat my horses, nevermind riding them. Before my surgery, I was a very active horseback rider, riding 5 days per week or more. Now that my hip is in good shape, I have no desire. It makes me even sadder and mad at myself for not wanting to do what I have always done. It is the one good thing I did in my life, now it is just in the past.

Will my life get back to 'normal' or will I always feel this way? Am I destined to be a lump on the couch or can it get better? I hate 'whining' but I know there are others out there (now that I've found this site) that feel the same way. I would love to hear from you.

Thanks in advance for any advice.