There was a day last week that I couldn't stop dwelling on things.. well, things that I had no control over. I was mad all day. Mad at the world, mad at my friend, but mostly, mad at myself for being so helpless. I spent HOURS calming myself down. I thought I did. So I thought I would do something nice for my mother, and make her dinner. All she did was walk into the kitchen and start helping me.

I lost it. Any patience I thought I had, I lost it. In a split second.

At the time, it was like she was implying I couldn't do it on my own, and she was ENCROACHING. She was too close. I wanted to shove her away from me. I literally dropped to the floor into a ball so I wouldn't lash out. Just started crying and shaking. It took everything I had to explain it to her in slow detail. It was TORTURE.

Now, I don't trust myself. When I'm this depressed, I don't trust my patience... or lack thereof.