Long time ago, I was in a kind of retreat. In there there was this mom. She was talking to a religious older woman that was a kind of leader. She told this older woman: "Oh, I would like to have your patience, this is a gift I do not have. I wish I have it for my children". And the older woman said "Gift? Patience is not a gift. I was not born equipped with it. It is a practice. It is like the muscles of bodybuilders."
I was very young at that time and I thought that was a message for me, too. I was having a hard time as I had just acquired my disability. I started practicing it, and my patience improved considerably. Then, I started to work in education and for a long time I was able to exercise my patience. It was a virtue other people would notice I had.
But now it is different, I am having a hard time to exercise patience. I lose my temper, even my judgement is sometimes wrong, all that against my patience. I feel this is related to my depression and anxiety. I do not like it because I know as I am depressed I am demeaning patience from others, but I am not able to be patient for them