I'm sorry to hear you're in such an upsetting situation. I lost my father a few years ago and I did really struggle with that. I didn't really speak to anybody for quite a while after the funeral. It can be hard when there is a lot of emotional pressure because I'm not always aware of my own emotions or how to express them when I do understand them. It's easy for people to assume I'm not feeling anything or that I don't care, but that's not what's really happening.

I can understand why the feeling that he's trying to control everything about your mother's estate, or rewriting past events, would be so troubling for you. Is there perhaps somebody that you both know who you could speak to as a sort of intermediary?

I would be hesitant to label somebody as having a form of psychopathy. Interestingly enough, when Hans Asperger's first 'discovered' the disorder, he labelled it as 'Autism Psychopathy'. This was due to our apparent lack of empathy, though over the years many studies have show this fact to be untrue. We do feel empathy, we just don't always express it, or we express it in a way which is different to the way an NT would expect us to. It has also been suggested in recent studies that the two disorders are mutually exclusive in that somebody could not have both disorders because of how different they are.

For example Psychopaths, tend to have a hyper awareness of social cues and use that to manipulate people for their own gain. Whereas those of us with AS tend not to notice most social cues at all, or if we do then we tend to misunderstand them. Further, Psychopaths don't feel remorse, whereas we do. Again, our remorse may not always be apparent, but it is there. I've spent months feeling guilty and upset for things I've said or done which have caused somebody pain without my knowing it at the time.

I'm not sure if that helps you or not? Perhaps, if you're unable to convince your brother to speak with a psychiatrist, it may be an idea for you to speak with one? If nothing else, it would provide you some support in what is understandably a very difficult time.