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At its very worst I had a plan to end it all. I would think about it every night. It was a comfort to think about it and plan it out. I would pray to God every night that I not wake up and not have to do it myself. I also got slightly psychotic and paranoid. Every car that went by I thought was the cops coming to get me.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman
Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.
Male, 50
Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
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