So sorry for the shock and pain and sadness you'd be feeling, wildflower

Surely counselling would be offered to you? Just to help you 'debrief' at least?
If not, is there any kind of phone helpline where you can just talk it out? Or a colleague with whom you can share?

I hope and pray you can find a safe place to recover from that traumatic experience, that you can allow yourself time to get over the shock and process the pain. Please be really gentle on yourself, nurse your emotional and physical self lovingly, and when you have the energy have a feel-good experience - like sweet movies, walk in the park, swim in a heated pool - whatever it is.

Peace and healing to you.