O.M.G., wildflowerchild! My heart goes out to you. Please don't be hard on yourself by being embarrassed about panicking right after(!) If someone weren't shaken by such a thing…. well, to me, that would be troubling!

Totally understand your not wanting to talk with someone patronizing. Can you get on a cancellation list for your therapist's to maybe get in sooner? Meanwhile, really glad you came here with it. It's very hard to have something you need to talk about and nowhere to do it. Post as much as you find helpful, that's what we're here for.