yes yes yes yes yes. when i think of making baby steps or even when i do do them i end up panicing because i get a vision of having to live up to that level and responsibility and that terrifies me so much because i know i cant. so many times ive made huge efforts with people only a few months later to give up completely and retreat to my shell because i know i cant keep up this facade any more. like right now im doing that.
like yesterday i had to meet my boss for next year and i managed ot come across as relaxed, confident, chatty etc. and since then ive felt so guilty and depressed because i know im not going to be able to do that when i start working with him.
i wish i had advice on how to overcome that. maybe thats part of the learning itself? to keep making two steps forward, three steps back and two steps forward again? maybe its ok to take the baby steps and then not be able to keep it up. to go back and lick our wounds and then get up and try again? maybe we will get a little further each time?
im sorry if this is no help. i wish you luck though. and the courage to go for the baby steps no matter may lie in the future.
take care
biiv