Hi ally,

Your post reminded me of how it was for me 32 years ago. I had unwelcomed thoughts fully knowing that they were not rational. It didn't take long though before I started to have compulsions. As the years went by, my OCD symptoms increased. There were times when they worsened and my daily functioning was impaired significantly. Then there were times went I was able to manage them better. Unfortunately, in the past year and a half, my ability to manage or cope with it has greatly declined. I've been in therapy more than once and am currently taking Zoloft. I still have managed to hold on to the belief that my situation will improve. For the longest time, embarrassment about this problem kept me from divulging thoroughly to my T's and my husband about how serious a problem it was for me. I thought I could *fix* it myself. So, here I am 32 years later worse off because of that embarrassment and shame.

If in fact your symptoms are OCD related and your insurance or financial situation allows, please consider therapy. Most of all try not to beat yourself up for having this problem. I believe the earlier specific treatment is started for this, the sooner you will have relief from it.

Wishing you freedom from your these troubles,
Calm