It's natural to miss your gf. My heart goes out to you.

On the other, I know how hard it is to "become your own woman." When I started creating boundaries with the help of a therapist, family and friends called me selfish. My mother hung up on me, and another friend just vanished. People who are used to taking one's kindness and caring for granted can be resentful when it isn't there for them anymore and one wants a bit of onself just for ME.

I hope you will look at it from her side, too. You say that you were depressed even before the break-up. I spend rather a lot of my life being depressed, and I am sure that I must seem very needy and, well, depressing to other people when I am in those spells.

Perhaps she is out drinking and doing the clubs, and that's why you think she is going in the wrong direction. That's also a reasonable concern on your part.

It's certainly challenging to make any generalizations on the basis of your post, but I hope you will hang in there and take care of yourself. That's the most important thing for you to do right now.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.