I understand what you're saying, krisakira. I find that some people are uncomfortable with those who truly have been victimized over and over again and just want them to assert themselves and move past it already. Its unfortunate that the way they try to push the person to move past it is often subtly retraumatizating, IMO.

My T has not said those same words but I've had similar experiences with him. I know he's trying to help me change because he cares about me. But do you know your T cares about you? Without being able to believe that, it definitely can feel like the T is just another bully to add to that long list.

Sure we can only change ourselves. But when we go to T, do we go in saying "look some **** happened to me but it's not what I'm here for. I don't need to talk about it. I need to change myself. That's it."? If we did say that, I guarantee most Ts would hone in on the **** that happened in the past, at least partially. That's a big part of what we do when we go to T! I sense you feel a lot of anger related to your life experiences. Maybe it's justified? I think a T needs to help you FEEL what you feel and then help you transition toward helping yourself. But you HAVE to be ready to move toward that part and the T has to be careful here, IMO.

I think a lot of Ts just suck with anger. I don't know your T or anything - I just think other people's anger is one of those emotions that a lot of Ts can struggle with....While someone who goes into T and expresses fear, deep sadness, admiration for T and their assistance etc. has a greater chance of being supported. Sucks