l won't go into details, but things are not great for me right now, overwhelm. My normal pattern at times like these is to send "I'm not coming to session" emails. My T and I have battled this out and T has made it clear it is not acceptable for me to skip sessions. So today, l made myself go.

l tried to "snap out of it" and be upbeat and engaged, but my brain was just feeling too slow and unfocused.

T asked what would be helpful and l said not to be in the session. l found T's questions overwhelming and instead of distracting me from negative thoughts, focused on them.

We spent time looking at distraction techniques which was ironic as the biggest distraction technique would have been not going to the session.

So here l am saddled with the negative stuff, but now also feeling bad about myself in the session, that it must be so tedious for T STILL having to deal with these times with me.

So back to my title, this seems like an occasion when going to T is not helpful.