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Don't know if this will help, but when I've felt that way - I've realized later that what I really wanted was to live and be alive and I felt like I was dead. That's why it hurt so much and why I struggled - because really I wanted to live and I felt like I was dieing.
Did you have a therapist before the money crunch? She/he might be willing to still see you for a token payment ...
Keep posting here - don't give up.
((((((((((pixie19))))))))))
__________________
W.Rose
 
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“The individual who is always adjusted is one who does not develop himself...” (Dabrowski, Kawczak, & Piechowski, 1970)
“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” (Oliver Wendell Holms, Sr.)
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