I don't know where else to post this.

I find something is wrong with my head. There's days where I feel completely disconnected. It's like my body and my mind is separated. I just don't know how else to explain it. Those days I typically don't move much and if I do, it's slowly. Then there's days where every single thing someone says to me upsets me in such a way that my mind goes straight to : "If I was dead...". Those days are the ones I typically self harm and just self destructive all in all. Other days I'm explosive and will lose my temper at every single thing then other days I'm extremely hyper in a sense where I talk fast and move all the time. I just never have days where I'm okay. I'm always something to an extreme.

With these jumps, I always have the same mentality towards people : I don't need them. I have never been intimate with anyone because I know they will just break my heart and leave. I also think that no one is capable of loving me. I have to force myself to fit in with anyone. Everyone annoys me and I feel as if they all hate me anyway's. I just can't seem to associate with people (or even animals) well. I'm just constantly isolating myself because I struggle so much with people. I even get times where I feel violent towards them because they come off as aggressive towards me (not intended, as I've been told) or their opinions, discussions come off as ignorant (typically true). I always aim for perfection and expect it from everyone else too...

All of this messes with my eating habits (always to an extreme ; not eating or eating tons) and sleep (not sleeping or sleeping all the time).

It's like I live a life that's always to an extreme and it's become such a struggle for me. I can't seem to figure out what's wrong with me and I was hoping to see if anyone has ever been like this or has heard of anything like this?