Hi,

I don't know if this is the right place to write this but here's my story.

I have been in a relationship for 2.5 years
For the first year and a half , my boyfriend spoke endlessly about his ex girlfriend. All about her flaws, how she was horrible, how she was lazy, the sex life they had, the favourite sexual positions, how much he loved her (on repeat), how he would do anything for her, how they met, about her family, showed me where she lives, about her ex boyfriend, about her new boyfriend, how much happier he is with me, her favourite pets, her eating habits, where she works, etc, etc

Throughout our relationship, every time we have a fight he threatens to leave me. Its always dramatic and he always tells me that he's going to leave me. One of the times he was going to leave me because I'm not as skinny as his ex (I weigh the same but my body proportions are different). Another time he was going to leave me because he said he loved her more. This happened a year and a half ago. Other times he threatened to leave me about any fight we had. Any. Sometimes it would be because I formed an obsession over her.

He stopped mentioning her after the year and a half but he kept on going with the threats to leave me. Lately (past few weeks) he's stopped threatening me that he's going to leave me.

He mentioned her briefly over the weekend and the mention was so small it is unbelievable how I reacted. I totally exploded. My heart started beating so fast. This always happens when something reminds me of her or when I happen to see her. I lose my breath. I get really angry and uncontrollably panicked. My chest feels like its going to burst from my body. He's getting really annoyed by my behaviour and probably won't stick around for much longer...

I don't know what I'm going to do. Anything that reminds me of her brings about this uncontrollable behaviour. I start saying mean things about her. He says he wants to marry me but every time he threatens to leave me I feel like a piece of me has died. I think we're good together. When we don't mention the ex everything is fine and happy. One single mention of her and that's it.

I am obsessing that if he loved this person so much and left her, then he will leave me as well. Him constantly threatening to leave me is not doing me much good. I know he has stopped in the past few weeks but I do not know how long this will go on for. He is probably going to leave me soon.

I'm a mess. I feel like I'm breaking down. I avoid any encounter to her and any mention of her like a plague. I feel unhealthy and unfit. I don't know what I am going to do. I have never suffered from mental problems before and this is really really scary for me.

Please, please help me.