Apparently the queer community in an area centered around a major university with 62 000 students is small. Very small. So small that you and the first potential new T you consult might discover that you attend the same weekly discussion group at your university (which is open to undergrad and grad students and faculty and alumni too).

So obviously this would never work as a therapy relationship. But this is why people need profile pictures on their websites so I could have recognized her and not gotten myself into a situation where I emailed her telling her I was seeking therapy to resolve attachment issues stemming from childhood maltreatment. I see this person every week and we run in a lot of the same circles, which is apparently pretty normal in the queer community, even when people are a lot older than you.

Thank goodness this was a face to face consult and not via phone, because I didn't know her last name and she didn't know mine, so in that case I would have revealed an excess of personal information without realizing we knew each other and a therapeutic relationship was out of the question...

Seeing her now at this discussion group is going to be super, super awkward. And it's not just the discussion group - we attended the same queer leadership conference last month and we will probably attend a lot of the same events in the future.

I now have an irrational fear that the other Ts on my list might also already know me or might know me in an academic setting in the future. They both have ties to my university. So does current T, actually, but I suppose she's too busy to have anything to do with it these days. And we've discussed what would happen if we met each other socially, like at Pride or something, and she would ignore me. (Of course she would.)

But potential T #1 also works as a counsellor at my school, but with the faculty of medicine, so hopefully no dual relationship there...even though a lot of queer events on campus are open to staff and students across faculties. Potential T #2 lectures at the faculty of social work at my school, so again, hopefully no dual relationship, but ugh, what if we ran into each other at events on a regular basis? It would be bad.

But there literally aren't any queer (or even queer positive) Ts that I could find who work in my area and do trauma work who don't have some connection to this huge research university. Current T does occasional research projects with the faculty of social work and graduated from there, but thankfully I haven't run into her there and don't expect to.

Therapy life and real life should never, ever mix.