i dont know what to do with myself.... i just made a appointment with my p-doc, for monday.... but that seems so far away.... i havnt seen him in a few months..... and i havnt been on my meds in a few months as well. I'm just lost in a fog. cutting myself seems like it would be a good release right now.... i havnt done it in several months, do to a few obligations in my life currently....

i thought i was doing something i really wanted.... but now that has turned into an obligation.... not something i WANT to do anymore.... how did that happen? I was so excited at first. i thought i was finally getting my life back together... but Nooooo.

I have been trying my very hardest to stay out of the hospital and to keep from cutting.... but i dont know how much longer i can take it