The thing about current T that makes me not want to leave her is that she's like a box. A box that's completely shut away from the rest of my world; a box that I can close and leave if I desire. She's not part of my real life and she never will be. Whereas another T who might run in the same circles...or moreover, another T who would have no problem with out of session contact or who might be more lax with boundaries or who might in some way bleed over into my real life...this would be completely unsafe.

Current T is safe; she and I will never have a relationship that feels even a little bit real. It exists in a vacuum in its own universe. But a new T, a more relational T...yikes.